i really don’t want to be friends with everyone, is that bad?

Feeling pretty good today. Thought I should post a positive post for once. 

Tonight, I get on a midnight bus to go home, and I can’t wait to hang out with my mom and just do things around the yard and breathe fresh air. I got paid today, which is always good. I’ve got my house back (unfortunately I upset Laura doing it), but I’m trying to be happy and positive today. 

It’s Aimee’s birthday and I have her present all picked out with a cute card. I wrapped it up in a heart bag and I think I might get a tiny cake with candles for when I go over to her house tonight.

Thanks for listening.

Grievance overkill

I know three real people who read my Tumblr. Three people I know. Maybe five. But I post really personal stuff on here. It’s really comforting to me and lets me get stuff out. I am trusting you guys.

For all the other strangers, I like having a place where I can just talk openly, and maybe some people are listening, and maybe some people aren’t.

I’d like to keep my Tumblr because the archiving is great. I’ve learned so much about myself on here in the past four or so years. I know I mostly post sad stuff on here, but a lot of times I’m happy.

I don’t know what the purpose of this writing is, but if you know me, keep this to yourself, and if you don’t know me, hopefully, we can find some sort of community in each other. We aren’t alone.

urge to destroy things

crazy emotions today

on the road

Today I was sitting at my desk at work and was setting an alarm on my phone for later to remind myself to set out my electric bill for my boyfriend because he needs a bunch of paperwork. I was in the middle of writing a story about jessica simpson’s swimsuit.

Then I saw this old alarm on my phone. 9:30pm Dad’s bday. I don’t remember why I had it on there. Maybe I had to wrap a present? Call him? I don’t remember, but what had served as a reminder last year did its job a second time. It reminded me that dad is gone.

So as I cried discreetly at my desk, I pondered all the ways I could get away from everything — the electric bills, the reminders, the meaningless celebrity gossip. I thought I could take my life on the trail, buy a covered hammock and just walk. And then I thought that I could take my dad’s van on the road. Drive it around the country. Live in it. Maybe I would be happier in there.

Does anyone have a good “fuck this” playlist?

my tumblr is just becoming a receptacle for my rage. 

Look at how cute my cat is